


you never see any scars or wounds

by independentalto



Series: (all that i can hear is) a simple song [8]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: (do i even need that?), Character Study, spoilers for literally every season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22181707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/independentalto/pseuds/independentalto
Summary: All too often, Daisy gets called a hero. She's really not.
Series: (all that i can hear is) a simple song [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594819
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	you never see any scars or wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Someone To Fall Back On" by Jason Robert Brown, but as covered by Aly Michalka.

The media has somewhat of a one-sided love affair with Daisy Johnson. A hero, they call her. A savior of the people, a saint. Who a hero would be in their wildest dreams, one publication writes. And yet, every morning, Daisy looks at the papers calling her as such, scoffs and throws the papers away before downing the rest of her coffee and starting her day. 

Because she isn’t. Isn’t a single one of the things the media calls her, no matter how many heroic acts she manages to pull off. Call her embittered, call her ridiculously humble, call her faking her modesty. It doesn’t change the fact that she, Daisy Johnson, is not and never will even come  _ close  _ to assuming any of the titles bestowed upon her. 

To be any of those things would imply that Daisy’s done heroic things: stormed a burning building to save an innocent victim, taken down a crime ring (probably including some sort of trafficking), selflessly given up something she held dear so that the world at large would benefit. To be any one of those things would imply that Daisy was -- and always had been -- inherently  _ good _ . That she’d been someone’s knight in shining armor, sword in hand. Taken a stand and held her ground for a cause she believed in. That she’d never been wounded. 

And  _ oh,  _ how Daisy has been wounded. 

She’ll freely admit it: sometimes (read: a lot) she’s selfish, a sickly, green trait that leaks into her decisions in and out of the field. Sometimes her selfish decisions serve her well -- her desire to get footage from Mike Peterson had led her to SHIELD, after all -- but sometimes they blow up with all of the force of a long-dormant volcano, harming herself and those around her. 

Would Trip still be alive if she hadn’t gone into the temple? Even though Simmons tells her not to dwell on it, Daisy still can’t help but wonder late some nights, the possibilities whizzing around in her head faster and faster until they’re broken by May rapping on the door for their tai chi sessions. 

(Lincoln would have  _ absolutely  _ been alive if she hadn’t brought his life into hers. On those nights, she cries herself to sleep and wires his sister some extra money the next morning.) 

So yeah, she’s  _ far  _ from Miss Sweet Sally Peaches and she knows it. She’s never going to be one, either, and Daisy finds that the idea sits pretty well. Maybe she won’t be the first one on the front or the one to give it her all. But she’s been hurt enough at her expense to not be, in her opinion. Or, at the very least, to be looked at like she would be. 

Mack tells her that that’s what she deserves: can’t she see that she’s profoundly affected so many lives? But every time he brings it up, Daisy just stares at him flatly, takes a sip of whatever drink she has in her hand at the moment, and tells him that that’s not what she  _ wants _ . She doesn’t walk on coals and come off unharmed; she doesn’t walk on water, even though she technically can -- she’s made too many mistakes to deserve the right to.

Quake is not a hero; Daisy Johnson less so. But she  _ is  _ a few things: stubborn to a fault, a blunt truth-teller, a somewhat decent cook, and loyal to the end for those she thinks deserve it. She sits quietly with Fitz when they lose Simmons to the Monolith, she makes him cups of tea at three in the morning when he wakes screaming from his nightmares. She sits the same with Simmons when they finally rescue her from Maveth, unflinching in the face of her lashing out in  _ her  _ nightmares. It’s for them that she waits, knowing time and company to be the only healing factors. For them, she’ll wait as long as they’ll let her. 

She shoots the shit with Hunter when he and Bobbi fight, offers her shoulder when physical therapy gets under Bobbi’s skin and breaks her for the day. She takes the extra-hard hits May doles out after Lash’s death, makes sure to bring Coulson coffee when he locks himself in his office two or three times a week. For them, she’ll crash through their fences -- only because they’re so well-constructed they need to be destroyed. 

(They  _ all  _ sit when Bobbi and Hunter are disowned, and even then, Daisy’s already plotting in her head how to secure a private connection to wherever the hell they’re headed, if not only to erase a few of the lines from the rest of the team’s faces. And despite the hell she catches from Coulson and May, she gloats silently when the team reunite with the two, tears streaming down their faces.) 

She argues with Robbie when he can’t quench his own demons, makes sure Gabe is well and fed when his brother cannot. She trains Piper and Davis when they barely make it out of a mission alive, spends a night taking grieved blows from the former after Davis’ death. She sits with Mack much as she had Hunter oh-so-long ago; even after a year, he barely manages to keep a lid on his feelings. She drinks with Elena after Keller’s death, and it’s probably the only time she gets out-drunk, laughing uproariously at nothing with every shot she takes. She faces off with May at every turn, desperately trying to make her understand that there is nothing left of the man she loved. 

When the being disguised as Coulson calls her Skye, she takes a second to acknowledge that  _ maybe  _ May is right. But only for a second. (And though she may not know it, Daisy sits by May’s cryo-chamber so often she wears a small groove in the chair.)

Daisy doesn’t ask for anything in return in her endeavors. She’s used to being alone, having done it for most of her life until joining SHIELD. Besides, she’d rather it be simple: whatever the other person can give her paired with everything she has. The minute things start to get out of balance is when they get messy, and if there’s anything she hates more than being called a hero, it’s when things get messy.

Because really, Daisy’s not a hero. Can’t be. Won’t be. She’s just someone to fall back on. It’s a position she’ll occupy willingly; and honestly? It’s ten times better than being a hero. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find this song in the movie Bandslam (2009). If you watch it, let me know, because honestly, I've never met another soul who's seen it.


End file.
